Monday, March 21, 2016

Divinity Invaded My Humanity

(This is a little long and for that I apologize in advance, but every word is necessary to give God His full Glory.)

I was physically aching from preparing all the orders for my CareVan deliveries I need to make.  Every bone in my hands and every muscle in my body was talking to me. I hopped in the shower to let the hot water run over my aching muscles and to wash away my emotional weariness.  Weeping, I started complaining to my Father.  I’m so tired of doing this alone. LORD, You know I never wanted to do CareVan alone. I’m too old to do this alone. This stuff gets heavier by each passing month. LORD, you know I’m weary in my well-doing. I’m sorry that I am.  I know I’m not supposed to let myself get weary…but, I am. I’m sorry, LORD...

My hot, salty tears mixed with the hot water.  Eventually, I climbed out of the shower.  Drying myself, I didn’t feel any release - certainly, I did not feel any less weary.  UGH.  I’m tired.  Do you hear me, LORD?

I got in my jammies and robe and collapsed into my chair in the living room.  A few moments later my cell phone rang interrupting my self-indulgence with the weariness I seemed to have embraced.   

It was my friend’s son, Robert whom I have been friend’s with for over 20 years, calling from the prison he is incarcerated in - in that state of Virginia.

He was so in The Spirit that he didn’t notice my…umm…un-chipper-ness.  He began telling me his reason for calling. “I was sitting in the POD (which is the common area of his building) listening to my worship music through my headphones.  I started singing out loud with my arms raised up in worship.  I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my face as I worshiped The LORD. I am so grateful for all He has done in my life.  Suddenly, I knew I had to call you and share this worship song with you.” 

His player has no speaker so I couldn’t hear the music to the lyrics that so moved this man’s heart. But I sure did hear him singing.  It was a song I had never heard before, but the lyrics felt like they could have come from my own heart.  His singing was mixed with raw emotional vulnerability as he cried through the whole song.  And smack dab in the middle of the prison POD!  

Well, as you can imagine, I began to cry.  And cry.

When the song was over Robert started thanking and worshiping The LORD.  He paused, took a few breaths, and began to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water  - having no idea what my day had been like or that I had a monolog in the shower about being so very weary. (In case you are not aware, Bridge Over Troubled Water is the only Gospel song Paul Simon ever wrote. And it has been a life-changer to me over and over since I was 16 years old.)  

         When you’re weary
         Feeling small
         When tears are in your eyes
         I will dry them all

Weary-cleansing tears were now flowing as I did my best to muffle my sobs. While Robert sang from his heart, I pictured The LORD’s Hand wiping away my tears. 

 Apologetically, Robert told me he had no intention of doing that and he didn’t know why he started to sing that song.  Cleansing tears still flowing, I couldn’t speak. I didn’t want to speak.  It was too holy a moment.  For Divinity had invaded my humanity.  The fire of GOD’s Agape Love came down upon me but didn’t consume me. It was truly one of GOD’s “mysterious ways” of reaching out and touching us when we so desperately need Him.

We were both too emotional to continue chit-chatting for long.  He from his grateful, free-as-a-bird heart and me from having just been touched by The Divine. We quickly said goodbye and later I sent him an email explaining.

Because I had not sat in quietness to hear The LORD’s reply to my complaining, He orchestrated two people’s lives who live in two different states, and had His Spirit move upon His incarcerated Minister of the Gospel to minister Life to me all through a song that has had deep spiritual meaning to me my whole life.  

GOD’s Love, Tenderness, and Compassion are beyond written language. Truly, I have no words…

God is AGAPE Love and AGAPE Love is pure and overshadowing. IT truly heals. IT truly restores. IT truly transcends time, space, and the need for understanding. The Divinity of His AGAPE-NESS truly invaded the humanness of my self-pity and lifted my head to look up into the Face of Love, Himself. Emotional weariness was now all gone.  

I am changed, once again, by the majesty of my LORD’s “burning-bush” kind of Love for me.  And I have a feeling Robert is too.

** Shared my story over at Tell Me A True Story **

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Betty Draper said...

This is so encouraging Diane, thank for posting. I now know God is answering my and so many others prayer for comfort for your struggles and heart. AGain, thank you for sharing this.

Veronica Shticks Anderson said...

I read this amazing story twice, Diane! That's the perfect title for what happened here. What a fascinating and awe-inspiring turn of events that went from painful humanity to re-newing divinity! Thank you so much for sharing! I love it!

Diane Ronzino said...

Oh, my Betty and Veronica! Thank you so much for your continued prayers for me. So, this awesome event in my life is credited to you and the others who continually pray for say I appreciate you and the prayers is an understatement. I couldn't have made it this far without them.

And V, this needs to go in the book! It is one of the highlights of my life.

Veronica Shticks Anderson said...

Diane, while I read it I saw it in my head as a book moment! :)

Floyd Samons said...

Wow. Just wow. Now I struggle to find the words of how deeply I see God's Spirit move in your life and the life of Robert. To know that He is there every step of the way, and He is showing you is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

You aren't alone, sister. Our Father has your back and all of our backs and hearts. Thanks for the beautiful reminder this day.

Caroline said...

Beautiful Diane your grit and faithfulness to your King of kings/Prince of Peace to many families is so admirable! In addition you surely gave Your Father what he wants in sharing your life .living real feelings in the beginning cause they are what God wants..the truth..whatever that truth is
Somewhat limited on this end in remembering the scriptures but Matthew 7:7 if that's right comes to me
..knock at the door and it shall be opened.You knocked on HIS door for help with weariness and more.
And so like you sweet Diane u are encouraging so many others with this experience, like me of course. It reminds me there is a time and place for grit and another for tears and Gods wisdom in between.❤

Caroline said...

Diane please delete 1 post.maybe I am holding the publish key too long so it dupicates n it is not deleting on this end

Caroline said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Diane Ronzino said...

Floyd and Caroline, thank you so much for your words of encouragement to me! I appreciate you, both!

Hazel Moon said...

What a spiritually healing and empowering call from Robert, just when you needed a call from heaven - - God sent Robert. I understand the weariness of ministering alone. Is there a sister organization that can assist you? How about making a verbal prayer request at your next ladies meeting or Bible study? You need some help Gal. Thank you for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thanks for coming by to read, Hazel and for your suggestions. There is no sister organization. I am the only one who does this, as far as I know. I've done your suggestions. Very few have a volunteers heart. It's a shame.

But, God will supply. I do believe that.