Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Shadowed Heart

May my heart be the Shadow of Your Love
  stretching into the abyss of darkness
Reflecting Your Image and Likeness
Casting it’s darkened outline on the unsuspecting
  healing the wounds inflicted by our humanness













May my heart be the Shadow of Your Love
  stretching into the abyss of darkness
Reflecting Your Image and Likeness
The brightness of Your Love illuminating ambiguity 
  radiating the brilliance of Your Joy upon our own commiseration 

May my heart be the Shadow of Your Love
  stretching into the abyss of darkness
Reflecting Your Image and Likeness
The iridescence of Your Glory fall first upon me
  healing the wounds inflicted by humanness

Then and only then, will my heart truly be the Shadow of Your Love
  for the darkness in me will be enlightened
And I will be able to reflect Your Image and Likeness 
Casting it’s darkened outline on the unsuspecting
  healing the wounds inflicted by our humanness








Because of Him and Unto Him,

Sunday, August 16, 2015

What a Difference a . Makes

Punctuation is important.  Wouldn't you say so?  You can write: 
"Let's eat, Grandpa." 
or
"Let's eat Grandpa."
                                 
Two entirely different meanings!  The little , could save Grandpa's life!  Ok, only kidding of course, but you get the point.

I was reading Psalm 5:12 this morning in the New King James Version. Here is how it is written: 
For You, O, LORD, will bless the righteous; with Favor You will surround him as with a shield.
In the original Hebrew, there is no semi colon.  It would read, "For You oh LORD will bless the righteous with Favor..." which, makes sense, since we know that we are blessed of our God; we know He surrounds us like a shield.

His Favor is a tremendous blessing in our lives - to those who need Favor.

I'm choosing to read this verse, believe it , and stand it with no semi-colon.  The blessing of my Abba's Favor to me, His righteous Daughter, is a shield around my life.  Absolutely.  But, Divine Favor is a blessing from my Abba.  And I do thank Him for it.

Thank You, my LORD, that you bless me with Favor and that You surround me as a Shield because I believe.  Because I trust.  Because I stand.

Because of Him and Unto Him.  Period.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

With My Head Pulled Out

There was a "broken Hallelujah" in my heart this morning.


Because I have prayed the above prayer.

One of my favorite songs is Hallelujah written by Leonard Cohen. So many musicians have performed this song over the years, with so many variations to it, that I have a lot of them downloaded. I love them all. I've posted about this song three times now.

The Holy Spirit has always used songs - when sung from my heart - as intercession.  This one is no different.  I first heard of the song at the closing of the 2010 Olympics.  It was performed by KD Lang. Her rendition moved me to sobs while watching her performance on the TV. I had to know about her and that song.

I think, only those who have experienced a loved one slip away into the abyss of sin by turning their back on our LORD or have done so themselves, can relate to the song. I truly hope that is not you.

Having experienced the heart-break and life-altering changes of a backslidden (which is what this song is about) husband twice in my life now, with such unGodly repercussions both times, this song took on new meaning to me this morning.

I clicked on the playlist, turned up the Bose and began washing dishes. The first rendition to come on was by Celtic Thunder.  I began to sing it from the depths of my soul with the person in mind I pray for; however, God was about to answer my prayer. The one above.

Suddenly, without warning, His Light turned on with laser-point accuracy, yet shed broadly into the nooks and crannies of my heart.

I had a major revelation that threw me to my kitchen floor where I stayed, crying out for God to forgive me.  I could have washed my floor with the amount of tears that flowed.  True repentance can be messy.

I always sang Hallelujah for someone in particular, not my husband. This song was a spiritual gift by My Father ever since hearing it at the Olympics.  But, I never realized the gift was meant for me.

My Father was trying to prepare me for what was to come.  He was showing me that one more time, my Samson had his hair cut, by a Delilah. 

 AGAIN.

God was not only was preparing me, He was trying to get me to acknowledge what I suspected deep within the depths of my being. Even though my husband continued his "I'm still walking with Jesus" charade, the Truth is I did suspect his backslidden state.  Again. However, I didn't want to accept the fact that he could possibly spit in our LORD's Face a second time.  Twice in his lifetime??  How could I be married to such a person?  What part of him wasn't a lie???


Apparently, I was willing to be ostrich-like, keeping my head buried in the sand. I didn't want to deal with this one more time in my life.  I could not accept the fact that this man I served and served with really could turn his back on our LORD for a second time - turn from The God, Who has been so Gracious and done so many miraculous things for him, his businesses, his family.

Oh, how I repented as I pulled my head out of the sand.

And The Light revealed my reason for being ostrich-like.  Fear and mistrust.  Fear of spending the rest of my life alone; and more importantly, not trusting The LORD to support me the rest of my life. (As you know, I've been a stay-at-home wife/servant of The LORD, my whole life adult life). And mis-trust is much worse than fear!

So, this morning, I'm hurting.  When God's Light shines on our own darknesses, it hurts.  It busts wide-open our own misconceptions of self. But, I am most grateful.  My head is fully out of the sand now.  My Father/Husband was Gentle with me.  Kind.  Compassionate.  Gracious. Oh, so Loving.

In the last weeks God has shown me much about the Truth of who my husband really is - whom he has been for the whole 44 years of knowing him.  He has answered so many of my many nagging questions over the years in one fell swoop of knowledge.  Of which I'm still processing and I am eternally grateful for. God always answers our questions! Always!
~~~
Thank You, my LORD, for preparing me.  Every time I  sang that song as intercession for You know who, it was actually for my husband, wasn't it? Even though I had one person in mind, You obviously, had another.  But, this time You answered according to Your Wise Judgement. 

Thank You for giving me this day of healing rain. I've rested in You - snuggled in good and tight - and You have kept me in a sterile place, allowing me to nurse my wounds inflicted from your laser surgery.  And most of all, thank You for forgiving me. Thank You, thank You, thank You! I love You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, my Husband.

Because of Him and Unto Him, 

Monday, August 10, 2015

Walk a Mile in His Moccasins/Judge Softly


Painting by R.C. Gorman

Pray. 
Don't find fault with the man that limps, 
Or stumbles along the road
Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears, 
Or stumbled beneath the same load.

There may be tears in his soles that hurt
Though hidden away from view.
The burden he bears placed on your back
May cause you to stumble and fall, too.

Don't sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the same blow 
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know.

You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, unknown to you in the same way,
May cause you to stagger and fall, too.

Don't be too harsh with the man that sins
Or pelt him with words, or stone, or disdain
Unless you are sure you have no sins of your own, 
And it's only Wisdom and Love that your heart contains.

For you know, if the Tempter's voice
Should whisper as soft to you
As it did to him when he went astray,
It might cause you to falter, too.

Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.

I believe you'd be surprised to see
That you've been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.

Brother, there but for the Grace of God go you and I.
Just for a moment, slip into his mind and traditions
And see the world through his spirit and eyes
Before you cast a stone or falsely judge his conditions.

Remember to walk a mile in his moccasins
And remember the lessons of humanity taught to you by your elders.
We will be known forever by the tracks we leave
In other people's lives, our kindnesses and generosity.

Take the time to walk a mile in his moccasins.

 ~~~


There is nothing else that needs to be said except this:  As Disciples of Christ, to walk a mile in someone else's moccasins is to be more Christ-like because this is what Jesus Christ has done for us.

I bow my head.

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Call Me Benjamin

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a movie starring Brad Pitt as a man who ages backwards - the older he gets, the younger he becomes physically.

I feel like Benjamin Button. Chronologically, this flesh is aging. And rather quickly these days.

However, it feels like my heart, my spirit man - who I REALLY am - continues to become younger.  

Is that really possible?

…hhmmmm….

Please bear with me, as I write my thoughts…

The older my body gets, the freer I’m becoming.  I guess the Wisdom that comes with age and life experiences will do that.  And of course, my walk with God.  More so that than anything.  

As I am obedient to Him and His Word, the freer I become.  The more I commune with Him, the  more and more youthful in my heart I become.

Why is that?  How is that?…
Here is the answer!  Oh, thank You, my LORD!
Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His Benefits:  Who forgives all your iniquities,  Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.  ~ King David, as recorded in Psalm 103:1-5
I’ve always read verse 5 as: God satisfies my mouth with good things, therefore, my youth is renewed like the eagle. And that never really made sense to me.  After reading Psalm 103 this morning, I realize it is when we bless God, when we are grateful to Him, when we remember all He has done for us - forgiving us, healing us, redeeming us from destruction, bestowing His graciousness to us, and satisfies us with His good things - when we do verses 1-5, THEN our youth is renewed… WOW!!!!

The key to youthfulness is having a God-consciousness daily. Day by day.  Hour by hour.  Minute by minute.  THEN, our youth is renewed.  

Hallelujah!

The older I get, the freer I get, the younger I get, the more secure I get.  Phew….

Thank You, LORD, for restoring my youth - no, I thank You for actually giving me a youth, now, in my older age because my youth was robbed from me…my senior-hood has now become my youth-hood.  Thank You for the freedom to NOW enjoy my youth and youthfulness - from the stuffed animal on my bed, to laughing, running, and playing with water pistols at a church picnic…wow…You are allowing me to experience youthfulness. You have restored unto me what Satan had stolen from me so very long ago. Thank You so much, my LORD.  Thank You!  

Just call me, Benjamin!  

Because of Him and Unto Him,