Tuesday, June 30, 2015

More So Than Five Minutes Ago

Let not mercy and truth forsake you;Bind them around your neck,Write them on the tablet of your heart,  and so find favor and high esteemIn the sight of God and man.  
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,And lean not on your own understanding;
 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. ~ Prov. 3:3-6

From Heartlight.org

For 32 years I've done my best to live by these four little verses of Scripture. For the past year and a half, I've had to make more monumental, future-altering decisions than I have had to do in my whole life.

Verses four and five is how I've made each and every one of these decisions.

I've been misunderstood and I dare say, judged, by others including Christ-followers. But, that is neither here nor there.  What is important is the internal struggle that goes on in making God-directed decisions. It is by no means a walk in the park.

It is downright difficult.  Your mind second-guesses everything.  The mental battle in believing God is directing my paths is...just that: a battle.

But, I stand firm in my decisions.  They may prove out to be wrong and that it was clearly MY own rational from which I came to my conclusion.

But, even if that is true, God knows my heart.  He knows I only want to do His Perfect Will in each decision. And I believe He will make correction to any of my mistakes if they prove to be just that: a mistake.

And in my decisions of late I've proven to be merciful/kind, truth-filled/faithful. And I will have favor because God honors His Truths. 

So, why am I writing this post?

....

hhmmm....

....I'm "preaching" to myself.  I'm declaring God's Word is alive and active in my life and for each Truth of His Word that I've obeyed, I know It will bear fruit in my life. I'm declaring my trust in God and His Faithfulness. And in so declaring, it causes me stand strong. 

Stronger than five minutes ago, anyway.

Because of Him and Unto Him,





  

Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Crux of the Matter

The crux of the matter:
If sin rules in me, God’s Life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. ~ Oswald Chambers 6/23
If SIN rules in me, God's Life in me will be killed; if GOD rules in me, sin in me will be killed.

If SIN RULES in me, God's Life in me will be KILLED: if GOD RULES in me, sin in me will be KILLED.

Notice the..."I" 

If SIN RULES in me, GOD'S LIFE in me will be KILLED; if GOD RULES in me, SIN in me will be KILLED.

IF SIN RULES IN ME, GOD'S LIFE IN ME WILL BE KILLED; IF GOD RULES IN ME, SIN IN ME WILL BE KILLED!!!!






Thank You, LORD, for a logical explanation to others as to what has happened to Joe.  Thank You!  

Because of Him and Unto Him,




Monday, June 22, 2015

Until the Tombstone Spoke

“Mommy, I’m s o o o r r r y!”  The apology erupted through my gut-wrenching sobs.  

My heart had just broke wide open and years of stuffed bitterness flowed up and out like hot molten lava…

Months before The Holy Spirit started prompting me to go to the cemetery.  Mom died when I was 19 and I hadn’t been to her grave since her burial.  Married, with three children, I passed by the cemetery everyday as I drove my children back and forth to school. My obedience came after a month or two of His four times-a-day promptings.

After finding her grave, I stood for the longest time, not knowing what to do or say.  Knowing The LORD had something in mind, I came prepared - Bible, journal, and tissues.

Eventually, I sat down Indian-style in front the headstone.  Eye level.  I opened my journal and started writing.  

Af first, all I could write was my confusion as to the purpose of this Divine Appointment.   “Why am I here?”, I kept journaling.  As I would finish a sentence or two, I would glance up and read the wording on the headstone:

Mary L. Weiss
Wife of Charles E. Weiss
etc. etc.

I jotted thoughts and would glance up.

Jotted thoughts, glanced up.  

Suddenly the words WIFE OF stood out as if in neon lights.  

In that split nano-second I saw my Mommy through crystal clear eyes - through the Eyes of God, Himself.  I was brought back to my childhood/teen years.  I felt her pain and suffering with Crohn’s Disease.  But, more importantly, I saw the pain and suffering she endured being the wife of Charlie, and that the stress of being his wife added to the non-healing of the disease that took her life at the tender age of 48.  

My dad was a long-term member, and a three-time Grand Master, of the Masons.  He lived that secret life within the Masons and brought unGodliness and curses upon his family although he was an every-Sunday church goer.  He was a high functioning alcoholic, but a drunk just the same.  He was very sexually perverse, which only became darker and darker as the years went on; and he was unfaithful to my mother and God their whole married life.   

I was suddenly so aware of what it must have been like to lie down in bed next to him each night… and I "felt" my mom’s repulsion.  

My heart was flooded with empathy for her.

Sobbing, talking to my mommy, and scribbling my thoughts went on for quite a while. You see, although I hadn’t realized it, I had judged my mother.  Because her suffering from the Crohn’s, she was heavily medicated and abusive.  I always understood that. I did not hold that against her, but I what I did hold against her was that I somehow blamed my mother for my father’s deceitful and deviant character.  

Why did I judge my mother and not my father?  That made no sense. Judgements don't make sense. They are lies we choose to believe. It was a demonic seed planted in my young heart creating a love/hate relationship passed onto me by my dad.  

As a teen, I had made angry judgements against my mother in my heart and there they laid buried until the tombstone spoke.

I couldn’t apologize enough to her and God.  And in my repenting, The LORD took all that judgmental bitterness away and replaced it with His Agape.  Love expanded my heart.  I asked The LORD to give her the message of how sorry I was and that I loved her.

God has much to say about us not judging.  Its root is demonic, disguised as anything but what it really is: believing a false accusation, then forming a biased opinion, and holding on to it as a truth.  All it does is cause deep-rooted resentment in the one who makes the judgment.  

Only God has the right to judge our hearts, thoughts, and actions.  

To this day, I teach on judgements - the evils and devastation of holding on to unGodly resentments.  After all, I learned the hard way and it took The LORD to cause the tombstone to “speak” to me in order to free me.  I'm forever grateful that He did.

Because of Him and Unto Him,