Wednesday, December 3, 2014

A New Word In My Vocabulary

After walking hand-in-hand (literally) with my husband for 42 years of my life, the word

S - I - N - G - L - E

has had a very scary connotation to it. 

Single means ALONE....ahhhh!


OK, Diane, let's put this in perspective:

My other half is a workaholic who never took vacations or sick days; who worked 'till 10:30 PM, 6 days a week for all of my children's upbringing years.  Thereafter, 8:30 PM, 6 days a week. Until the last year, when he was forced by partners or paramour (not sure which - probably both) to take Saturday's off. Same schedule, but now 5 days a week.  All my years of asking/imploring for a Saturday here and there fell on deaf ears. 


I raised our children. ALONE.

Took care of the homefront. ALONE.

Took care of every household emergency. ALONE.

Took care of all the finances.  ALONE.

Stood in the gap for the family.  ALONE.

Went through major family and health crises'. ALONE.

Ate 40 years worth of dinners. ALONE. 

Married.  Yet, ALONE.

Married, yet single in regard to doing things ALONE.

I did everything ALONE except take vacations. 

So, Diane...what is the problem?

You can do this!

Remember your singleness of 40 years.  Don't believe the lies that you can't do this.  You have been doing it - for all of your adult life.


So, as this year draws to a close, my new OneWord365 for 2015 is going to be:

I'm going to embrace my singleness. ALONE.

I'm going to come out of the foxhole. ALONE.

Travel has always been a desire of mine.  And I'm going to dare to travel. ALONE.  (I'm already planning a trip in the spring to Texas to meet precious, Martha, my first blogging friend. And I might just plan other trips to the others in my Circle, if I'm welcomed.)  

And I just might venture out to eat in a restuarant, ALONE, which has been one of the most scariest things to me.  Although, I don't know why.  I've been eating ALONE for 40 years.

And, Diane, single is NOT a status.  It's just a word.  An adjective. A word that describes a person who is strong enough to enjoy life ALONE.

And I have my Beloved LORD by my side.  Who could ask for more?  He will be my dinner Companion, my travel Companion, my singleness Companion. Single, but NOT ALONE. 

He is The One Who will endue me with power so that I may enjoy life. ALONE. After all, He has given me 40 years of preparation for this season of my life. And for that I'm grateful.  

I think I've already started to embrace it!  2015 here I come.

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Crown of Beauty said...

Without belitting the pain of your past year/s... (when I asked if we could meet one weekend I was in NY a year ago... little did I know what you were going through that November 2013)... I want to encourage you what single means for me. I've written much about it on my blogs, after my dear husband left this earth for his eternal home six years ago. Single means having a single eye... singleness of purpose... singleness of direction. Eating at restaurants and going to coffee shops alone... sitting alone in church where there used to be my husband and family beside me. But now that my three children have grown up and are now living lives of their own... I sit as a single person in church. And well, that is just reality for me... it is the season I am in, and like you said, I have embraced it... and have actually enjoyed the freedom it has brought. Single-hearted to pursue God's purposes for me. Yes, I love how you worded it ... "Single, but not alone!" Hugs to you dear Diane.

Melanie Ghauri said...

This brought tears to my eyes Di. Although I am ecstatic for you that you are embracing the new single status in your life, Your story moved me deeply! I hear the Lord saying "Your ladder years will be greater than your former"! Ps... I hope in all your travels, you plan a trip to my house. And I would also, LOVE to take a trip with you! I love you, Mel XO

Betty Draper said...

You best quality is embracing my friend. It's one of God's most precious qualities, He has embraced us with all our frailties. What a testimony you are to others. This is a messy world and so many need encouragement and best encouragers are those who have know great hurt and risen above it.

Now onto the part about visiting our friend Martha. Just let me know when and I will try to arrange for me to come too, well I will let God arrange it. Remember California is close to Texas, well as the crow flies.

Praying for you my courageous wise hearted friend.

Martha Herden said...

Diane~~ What a beautiful post, filled wth tremendous honesty...GOD stands right beside you--gently helping your hands REACH forward into this Next chapter of your life....

We are so Human with many moments of uncertainty, doubt, fears--but the inner STRENGTH you have gained is helping you take the steps into a new Single life.

I am PROUD of you Diane--as I think of the Courage you have shown as an example for Others who might face the same Journey as you... They will LEARN from your sadness and loss~~~and your FAITH will always be a Light of Hope for all to learn from .

Love and prayers always I send to you!!!

Joy said...

Alone...words has a lot of meaning. I am alone too when my husband is on bord the children are in a faraway place. But like you said, with God we are never alone.
Have a bless life with God!

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, dear Lidia! I know you can definitely relate. Sitting alone in church has been difficult, but getting easier.

I look at all you do and accomplish and I want to be like you "when I grew up".

Diane Ronzino said...

Mel, ROADTRIP! We wouldn't have to plan a destination, because all we would do is u-turns. you, thanks for reading and commenting.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Wise-hearted Betty! How awesome that would be for us BOTH to visit her and each other. We really have to pray for her health for that to happen. I cannot wait to meet you as well.

Thank you for your prayers! Love to you.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Martha! I love you.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Joy! Thank you for stopping by and reading and commenting. God bless you!

Caroline said...

Greetings Diane,
Miss You.So delighted you are traveling toward positivity and how awesome you already have travel plans for spring to see Martha. Oh my heart goes to you in this time of healing.One day at a time nay your spirit come to a more content place of yes being alone but not lonely, after all HE is always in your presence.Something I know and struggle to practice throughout my days.
Although I am married,I too often feel lonely.Especially this time of year when it is necessary to work much longer hours. So as we approach the coming of the most miraculous birth ever I turn my thoughts to our Prince of Peace more with each passing day.
With Hugs,Kisses & Love, Caroline

Anonymous said...

I haven't been able to be on social media as much but I wanted to say, my heart met yours in this post. I did the same thing but for 25 not 42 years. I guess the toughest thing is the DISAPPOINTMENT! When a spouse who is supposed to be born again does this sort of thing - it seems such a slight. I have been watching as God IS restoring all the "years that the locust hath eaten and the canker work hath destroyed". My kids are not close to their father and now he is the one wishing he had family....He just never bothered to invest in them. Now it's like the song, "Cats in The Cradle" ...when you coming home son? I don't know when, but we'll get together then... Love you precious!

Saleslady371 said...

Wonderful post about your journey, Diane. You sound courageous and strong as you share your heart. It is going to be a great 2015!


Jennifer Dougan said...

I'm sorry, Diane, for this hard journey. Thank you for letting us peak into your processing here.

Those road trips sound fun! And I've eaten alone at a restaurant before. I bring a book or some study materials. It's a bit uncomfortable at first but it got more comfortable.

Merry Christmas,
Jennifer Dougan

Diane Ronzino said...

Caroline, thanks for reading. Maybe we can do lunch one day this week. Let me know.

A quote I read months ago, has helped me tremendously. I don't know who said it, but this is it:
"Being alone is not the worst thing in life. The worst thing would to be with people that make you feel alone."

And that was so true of my marriage.

Diane Ronzino said...

Nancy, thanks for sharing your story. Yes, God will restore unto me what the locust have eaten! I believe.

To see your life now...could you have imagined then?

Hugs to you, my friend.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Mary, for being a cheerleader!

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Jennifer, for your compassion. I did it! See my latest post.