Thursday, June 12, 2014

When Love No Longer Has To

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins".  ~I Peter 4:8

After the "I love you's" and the marriage vows are exchanged, marriage can no longer be based on the feeling of love, it must be a choice.  Consistently and unceasingly.

You choose to love.

And Love bears all things. 

And Love covers the multitude of sins. 

The God-kind of Love, that allows one to continuously work on improving themselves while their Love covers their partners shortcomings, is not a feeling.  It is a choice. 

My Love for my husband was unto The LORD.  My love - through better and worse - was unto my God, not man.

And Agape Love is fostered through the "covering of sin".  The more you choose to cover and not get into strife about things, the God-kind of Love truly does cover those things, as if you don't see it.

Isn't that what Jesus' shed Blood is all about?  

Covering my sins.  

Your sins. 

All mankind's sins. 

It covers them and God, our Father, sees them no more.

My counselor has asked me how did I miss seeing certain traits in my husband over 40 years.  I certainly did not miss them.  I wasn't blind or naive to Joe's BC (before Christ) traits.  
I chose to allow God's Agape Love to "cover" those sins.  I choose to press into Jesus all the more for His Grace to allow me to allow His Love to cover those things.  And He did.

And he wasn't always as narcissistic (the counselor's conclusion) as he is today.  While serving and walking with The LORD, his selfish tendencies were held at bay, as it is with us all who work at living The Word. 

But, since backsliding, well, those "tendencies" are now a full-blown way of life. Worse than ever before. 

If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit” and “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”  ~ II Peter 2:20-22
That's it in a nutshell. 

And now my Love no longer has to cover my husband's sins. Now I'm free to discuss them when necessary to facilitate the healing process.

As for the covering of his "multitude"?  Well, that's a challenge for his other "wife" to now do.  

What my Love does need to do is to is to keep my heart pure and bitter-free.

It needs to keep me in forgiving - 70 x7 - mode.

It needs to allow me to now center that Agape Love on myself.  The same Grace I've extended for years to my husband, I know need to lavish on myself in order to celebrate myself and all God created me to be.  

And in case you hadn't noticed, I do believe the healing process has begun.  Oh, Thank You, Jesus!

I'm so grateful for those of you who are journeying with me.  I hope I'm not boring you. I am very grateful that you read and comment and pray and encourage me.  Truly you are a vital part of my support team.  Oh, Thank You, Jesus!

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Strahlen Smith said...

What a beautiful post. Too many people think Love is about feeling when it IS about a choice.

After my husband left, I went through all the many sins I committed in my marriage. Sins I still fight to admit without shame. I was perhaps blind to both of our sins at the time. I could excuse things I did based on past experiences which shaped me, but at some point, I must take responsibility and ask for forgiveness for my wrong doings.

At the same time, that doesn't excuse my husband's sudden abandonment. I cringe every time I hear the phrase, "A dog returns to his vomit." Although I know the truth in this statement and I see it in my husband's actions, it s still hard to picture this man I loved so dearly as that dog and his vomit. What a depiction!

Thank you for sharing and for being the Lamp that shows hurting souls they are not alone. Surely, you help lead others to the perfect, everlasting Love of the Lord. You are not alone. You are Loved. xoxo

God Bless...

Veronica Shticks Anderson said...

Love to you, Diane! I think of you a lot!

Joy said...

Good to know that you are in the process of healing. I wish you well Diane. Not easy, but with God you overcome!

Jennifer Dougan said...


I'm so sorry. Thank you for your vulnerability and honest raw gentleness as you and Jesus and the counselor process this. I see Jesus in you, and yet ache for you as a sister.

Jennifer Dougan

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you for sharing so candidly, Strahlen. I know how you feel about correlating the dog to his vomit with your husband. It's a very sad fact though.

It's also sad that we "met" due to our common life paths and now have this comradery, but I'm grateful for your wisdom as you have gone before me. Thank you for sharing as you do! God bless you and your boys!

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Veronica!!!! I love you. Thanks for coming by and sharing in my life.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Joy! I appreciate your words.

Diane Ronzino said...

Jennifer, thanks so much for stopping by and commenting with such kind words. I appreciate it. God bless you.