Monday, June 2, 2014

Oh, To Be That Girl!

I just paused the Katie Couric show.   

I used to love this expression on her face
Marlo Thomas is on Katie's show today promoting her new book, It Aint' Over...Till It's Over: Reinventing Your Life - and Realizing Your Dreams - Anytime, at Any Age.   

I remember Marlo from That Girl.  Oh, how I use to admire That Girl...

Well, that sure was a long time ago...

I found myself sobbing (which I seem to do a lot these days - something unexpected just triggers the tears) while watching Marlo and Katie. 

Katie is still on pause, and here I am. 

With you.

Tears running down my face...as I try to type out something profound - for you - for myself. 

"Reinventing your life..."  I know that is something I must undertake - a reinvention of my life going forward, but...

I don't want to....I always just wanted to be a wife, mother, and servant of The LORD. 

But...I need to...cause the "wife" part is all gone now.

So, what do I want to be when I'm 61 and...S.ingle.  (I can barely get that word out.)

...

What do I want my life to count for?

Jesus, what do YOU want me to be "when I grow up"?

That's all I want...to complete that which my Lord and Saviour has given me to do in this earth.

Would I like to travel in an RV and see some of America?  Yes.

Would I like to go on a mission trip to Alaska?  Yes.

Would I like to skydive?  You bet.

Would I like to travel and meet precious blogging friends, whom I've never actually seen face-to-face?  Oh, absolutely.  What a hug party that would be!

Do I want to become the best disciple of Jesus Christ that I can be?  YES!

Do I want to be That Girl-fearless in obeying anything that God might ask of me?  Can you hear me, LORD?  YES!

but...A N Y T H I N G?   

But...

What if He asks me to lay down all my heart desires?

What if He asks me to never travel?

What if Alaska already has all the missionaries it can handle?

What if jumping out of an airplane is not in His plan?

What if I never get to meet my blogging family?

I bow before You, my LORD...here I am...take me, use me...make this life count for something Eternal...and if that means no parachute jumping, no plane or RV rides around this nation, no meeting my beloved blogger family (in this lifetime)... then so be it.  I am Yours.  To do with what You please.  

LORD, please, as you reinvent my future, just make it count for Eternity.  Please...that's all I ask...make it count for Eternity...and make it fun, so I can heartfelt-ly smile again.

Because of Him and Unto Him,



6 comments:

Martha Herden said...

Diane--
What Courage resides within you as your Pour everything out--Pain, Anguish, Loss, FEARS..... You have begun the "re-inventing" and the LORD is guiding you every second of the day!
God bless you my dear friend.

Joy said...

I believe Diane that everyday with Jesus is an adventure wherever we are. Small things, big things...everything.
I wish you all the best. Continue to trust in God and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Caroline said...

Sweet Diane,
How beautiful and inspirational this blog is.The Holy Spirit took you on his own journey as you were watching the show.You were empowered in thought towards new possibilities in your new beginnings and celebration within the new beginnings.It reminds me of a picture of a puppy I once saw that had the caption "Its the first day of the rest of my life" that I loved.
The bucket list is something I believe we should all have, like Jack Nicholson n Morgan Freeman in the movie the "bucket List";I think that is what it is called.One thing on my list is skydiving..only God knows if it will remain on that list.What credit I give you for being able to share your grieving and tears.Crying is so healthy because it leads to healing. I pray that the Holy Spirit's light as the light of a lighthouse will lessen the darkness sooner than later for you.
Huggs to You, Caroline

Diane Ronzino said...

You know, Martha, you are right. The "reinventing" has already begun. And He is with me - guiding and healing - each step of the way. Thank you for that! I learn so much for your wise words.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Joy. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.

Diane Ronzino said...

Caroline, any time you'd like to jump off a plane, let me know! LOL...

Yes, this is the first day of the rest of my life and it will be a good one - for both of us!

Love and hugs to you!