|I used to love this expression on her face|
I remember Marlo from That Girl. Oh, how I use to admire That Girl...
Well, that sure was a long time ago...
I found myself sobbing (which I seem to do a lot these days - something unexpected just triggers the tears) while watching Marlo and Katie.
Katie is still on pause, and here I am.
Tears running down my face...as I try to type out something profound -
"Reinventing your life..." I know that is something I must undertake - a reinvention of my life going forward, but...
I don't want to....I always just wanted to be a wife, mother, and servant of The LORD.
But...I need to...cause the "wife" part is all gone now.
So, what do I want to be when I'm 61 and...S.ingle. (I can barely get that word out.)
What do I want my life to count for?
Jesus, what do YOU want me to be "when I grow up"?
That's all I want...to complete that which my Lord and Saviour has given me to do in this earth.
Would I like to travel in an RV and see some of America? Yes.
Would I like to go on a mission trip to Alaska? Yes.
Would I like to skydive? You bet.
Would I like to travel and meet precious blogging friends, whom I've never actually seen face-to-face? Oh, absolutely. What a hug party that would be!
Do I want to become the best disciple of Jesus Christ that I can be? YES!
Do I want to be That Girl-fearless in obeying anything that God might ask of me? Can you hear me, LORD? YES!
but...A N Y T H I N G?
What if He asks me to lay down all my heart desires?
What if He asks me to never travel?
What if Alaska already has all the missionaries it can handle?
What if jumping out of an airplane is not in His plan?
What if I never get to meet my blogging family?
I bow before You, my LORD...here I am...take me, use me...make this life count for something Eternal...and if that means no parachute jumping, no plane or RV rides around this nation, no meeting my beloved blogger family (in this lifetime)... then so be it. I am Yours. To do with what You please.
LORD, please, as you reinvent my future, just make it count for Eternity. Please...that's all I ask...make it count for Eternity...and make it fun, so I can heartfelt-ly smile again.
Because of Him and Unto Him,