Thursday, May 15, 2014

True Grit

Well-meaning friends - who only desire the best for me I'm sure - seem to be upset with my decision to settle with my husband. Because of their own horror-story divorces, they vocal.

But, their experiences are theirs.

Mine is mine. 

Since every human being is different, every marriage is like-wise. It seems to me then that so would each divorce and settlement be different.

I didn't act swift enough - according to their opinions - in securing a lawyer. Meanwhile, I live according to Prov. 3:5-6:

Trust in The LORD with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him
and He shall direct your paths.

When The LORD so directed, I acted promptly. And He has provided me with an excellent attorney.  (And she is a wonderful human being to boot!)

Now, it seems, I'm not living up to their expectations for a settlement.  I consistently hear how wrong I am.

I cannot be, no will not be, anyone else but who I am.  I've been ridiculed (in public, no less), yelled at, and truly frowned upon with head-shaking and all, which has caused me to second-guess myself.

I read in the devotional this morning that I should not make decisions based on the approval of others.  

Yes! Validation!

I'm assuming, since the Divorce Care Ministry put that in their book, I'm not the only one who is experiencing/has experienced these same reactions from the well-meaning.

Separation and divorce is such a heartbreaking, confusing, fear-filled time in life. So many decisions must be made while in crisis mode.  I have made my settlement decision based on who I am and how I believe The LORD is directing me.   Who I am is based on Micah 6:8:

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to act justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

I do believe I am being just and merciful to my husband and by doing so I am walking humbly with God, acknowledging that His way is right, not mine or anyone else's. Does my flesh ever want to do what is right in the eyes of those who have gone before me on this horrowing journey?  Yes, it is most tempting, but I am working very hard at not being ruled by my flesh, but to walk and make decisions by The Spirit of God. 

And by The Spirit Alone. 

When I graduated 6th grade, my mother wrote in my autograph book, "To thine own self be true".  That word is my foundation for that which I'm faced with now, with decisions I must make, and with a heart that wants to remain pure before my God.

Not my will, but His will be done.

Most of those (and possibly all) who are in opposition to my choices, don't read my blog, so I guess I'm preaching to the choir so to speak. 

No, I'm not...I'm preaching to myself.  

I'm reassuring myself that I am doing what's right according to God's Heart.  I'm reassuring myself that I am being true to myself - to who God created me to be.

Thank YOU, precious readers, for allowing me this space to do that. With pressure on, I need to keep reassuring myself. 

Mom, I've never forgotten your words.  If they were for a time such as this, thank you for this firm foundation for me to stand on today. May you be proud of me as I stand true to my own self regardless of the opposition. 

Because of Him and Unto Him,

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