Sunday, March 2, 2014

Deadbolted In

I’m sitting here in the dark trying to find the words to express what I’m feeling this morning...

...ummm...

I feel as if the door to my world was slammed shut and locked tight, leaving me alone in a 2 x 4 space. 

Does that make sense? 

It’s as if the great big expanse that I’ve known as my “world” has shrunk down to a tiny 2 by 4 room.

A room where it’s hard to move freely.

And a struggle to breathe.

...sigh...

“When God shuts a door, He opens a window" comes to mind. Well-meaning friends have said that to me.    

But I don't find that comforting, nor is it Scriptural.  

And I’m assuming those who say it, truly have never known what it is like to have the door of your life slammed shut in your face leaving you paralyzed in the dark.

First of all, God did not shut this door to my world.  The enemy, who has come to steal, kill, and destroy me (John 10:10) did.  

Second of all, if I’ve lived all these years with an open door, why would I want to settle just for a small open window in the future? 

What my God did do was have my back.  The Holy Spirit moved a hotel clerk to pick up the phone and utter the words he did to me.  In the hotel world, he could have/should have been fired for what he did.  In response to my story, people have said that I should have reported him. But, why would I do that when I truly believe what he did was directed by The LORD?  

It was a God thing.

The LORD, Whose Eyes were ever upon me to show Himself strong on my behalf (II Chron. 16:9a) was at work protecting my back (Is. 58:8b).  He wasn’t going to allow deceitfulness to go on behind my back any longer.  And for that I bow before The LORD my God with a very grateful heart.

And what Satan has meant for evil in my life, God is in the process of turning for good (Gen. 50:20). Whether I can see it or feel it at this moment doesn’t matter.  It’s Truth.

And because of that, I will not settle for an “open window” in the future.  I will have full restoration. One day the "door" to my world will swing wide open once again. 

In the meantime, I trust The LORD with all my heart.

I am not leaning on my own understanding.

In all my ways, I’m acknowledging Him.

Therefore, He is directing my path (Prov. 3:5-6).  

I’ve that I’m certain. 

In the meantime, I’m sitting still in my little 2 x 4 world where it’s hard to breathe or move, but where I’m cozied into The Hand of my LORD.

Safe.

   Protected.

      Recovering.

         Where all is well (II Kings 4:8-37). 

...

...Can you relate?...I sure hope not!


Because of Him and Unto Him,

10 comments:

Floyd said...

Oh man... that sounds horrible! I'm amazed at your wisdom in the face of your trials! The 23rd Psalm comes to mind, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me."

Praying our Father breaks the door open wide!

Diane Ronzino said...

Oh, thank you, Floyd. I appreciate you and your heart!

Martha Herden said...

Diane-
Your words help many relate to PAIN, HURT, & FAITH. Although the Pain you are suffering does not easily "fly" away--your FAITH has already "opened that door" the door of confinement----and you are writing, sharing, pouring your heart out! And you are doing it with God's word--sharing Scripture as you share the Pain in your heart.....

Please know I lift you up in Prayer...

Saleslady371 said...

so sorry for your trial. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Hazel Moon said...

Praying for you Diane that this situation will change very soon for the better. A small box is not comfortable to be in and may we expect a break-through soon and very soon.

Betty Draper said...

Oh my dear Diane, I feel sad for you. You are so right, what the devil meant to destroy you with, the Lord will use to build your faith.

I have so many questions, like, are you working, are you staying in your house. Are you being taken care of?
How are the kids doing with all of this?

I am praying for courage as you deal with your pain and the knowing you must go on with life in some respects. Also praying for strength to face every day.

How often have I see God in the middle of my worst trials. even though my feeling go against all that is written about God love and mercy, it has been my faith just as I know it is yours that keeps you going. Continuing to pray.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you for your precious words, Martha. They brought tears to my eyes.

I've come to realize that "heart" pain is just as bad as any physical pain, of which you already know.

....life...

But, your words uplift my heart this morning. Thank you.

Diane Ronzino said...

Saleslady, thank you so much for your willingness to help. Some days I get "stuck" and don't want to leave my house. Pray for me for courage. Thank you.

Diane Ronzino said...

Oh, Hazel, thank you for your faith-filled words. I need those! I appreciate you!

Diane Ronzino said...

Oh, Betty, thank you for your care and concern. I am still in the house. Joe is providing for me financially. I am not working. As you know, I've been a stay-at-home wife and mother for 40 years. Everything that I have done, has been on a volunteer basis. I do still have CareVan to keep me concentrated on someone else's problems other than myself.

Thank you for asking about my children. This has been most difficult on them as well. My duaghter is most supportative. My 40 year wedding anniversary is in June. I will be flying down to Nashville to be with Alece, so I'm not here wallowing in my own self pity during that time. And wallow I would be!

Hugs and love to you, dear wise-hearted Betty. Thank you for praying for courage and strength. I need both daily - sometimes hour by hour. I appreciate you so very much.