Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Wanted: Job Title

My Father is an awesome God.  I wrote this post very early a week ago Sunday morning, but didn't post it.  I wanted to go over it one last time after I got back from church. Please read the post first, then I'll tell you how awesome The LORD is to me. This is what I wrote:

Is there a lost and found for job titles?  I’ve lost mine.

No longer a wife. No longer a mother.  What’s a woman to do?

From my earliest remembrances all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. No career aspirations. Except that. That was my career, as well as serving The LORD in whatever capacity.  

So, what’s a woman to do when she finds herself no longer an active mother – as all her children are self-supporting adults living everywhere but here?

A mother is prepared for the day when her children will “fly the nest”.  I did not suffer any kind of empty-nest syndrome, except for the months of August/September when I would ache to shop for school supplies.  Nine years later and I still experience those pangs come school time.

This woman continued to fill her life with ministry work and serving/supporting her husband and his business venture, just as she did for the last 40 years.

So, what’s a woman to do when she finds herself no longer a wife?

A wife is not prepared for her husband to "fly the nest".  

So, what’s a woman to do who now has no husband to serve/support?

What’s this woman to do?  My purpose in life abruptly ended…

Yet, my husband is still my husband. He just no longer wants to be served or supported – not from the wife of his youth anyway…

I’m still his wife, but not. I have a husband, but I’m not a wife. 

It’s no longer my job title.

…sigh…

I don’t know how to not be a wife.

…sigh…

So, what is this woman to do?

Is there life after 40 years of being a wife?  Of course there is. Ask any woman who has forged on after her husband has died. But, in the lost and found department of job titles, I’m definitely in the "lost" section.  


For this you can pray, if you are so inclined…

~~~

And now for the postscript:  

I closed my computer and went to church.  I entered into worship and immediately, I heard the Holy Spirit speak one word to me: "Daughter".  I knew in my heart what He was saying.  My job title is now Daughter of the Most High God.  

"Lord, I know I wasn't the best mother, and obviously I wasn't the best wife, but I will do my best to live the rest of my life being the best Daughter I can be", I sobbed back to Him.    

Two days later, I was praying with my prayer partner and I shared about the post and then going to church and what The Holy Spirit said to me.  As I was talking, she gasped.  "Oh my gosh, as you were telling me about the post, I was going to say "Daughter of God".  

We rejoiced in The LORD confirming His Word to me.  We rejoiced in His Lovingkindness, Goodness, and Faithfulness. We were thankful for those who are praying for me during this transition in my life.

For those of you who have been praying for me, I thank you. God is faithful. He meets needs.  He supplies.  He comforts.  He promotes.  He hands us our job titles. 

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Friday, March 7, 2014

Thirty-one Years Old

I’m “celebrating” me today or I should say, I’m working at celebrating me today.  So, writing this post is part of that "working at".


Today is my spiritual birthday. Thirty-one years ago, around 8:30 PM The Lord Jesus Christ gloriously saved my soul and began the process of healing me, delivering me, transforming me, and maturing me into the woman I am today. 

Made for me by moderninspireddesign
Please stop by her Etsy shop 

I’ve worked long and hard to become who I am today.  For years I’ve willingly allowed The LORD access to the deepest, darkest, most frightening corners of my soul, so that He could heal me from traumatic childhood experiences. For years, I have allowed The LORD to change me in order to stand faithful and true to my marriage covenant.  

Because vital change has been so glorious-resulting in my life, I continue to lay myself bare before The Lover of My Soul. 

Whatever needs to be healed or changed, you still have my permission, LORD.  I trust You.

And so, thirty-one years later here I am – in need of emotional healing AGAIN. Still needing to be transformed more and more into the image of Christ; still willing to be changed, to be matured; still accepting Love by the One Who Matters Most to me.  

Jesus’ Extravagant Love permeates my being. He is The Lifter of my head.  He lifts me up to be able to look Him in the Face… 

…where there is no condemnation, just pure acceptance.

Therefore, no shame, no guilt.  (At least in my heart. My head tells me something different, but I’m working on that.)

And that is the Diane I’m choosing to celebrate today. A victor, not a victim. 

Thank You, my LORD God, for rescuing me thirty-one years ago. Thank You that the memory of that moment is still as vibrant was it was then.  Thank You that You have given me thirty-one wonderful years with You. Thirty-one years of walking with You, talking with You, worshiping You. You have given me thirty-one years of faithful companionship.  Thirty-one years of growing and changing because of, and into, Your Extravagant Love.  Thirty-one years of serving You and Your people.  Thirty-one years of studying Your most Holy Word, which powerfully transformed my heart and mind. Thirty-one years of testimony after testimony of Your great, miraculous power in my life.  

So, I will hold my head up today. Up to Your Face, my LORD, where I see nothing but Love and acceptance of me – the me You created.  Thank You, my Abba. I love you.  

Because of You and Unto You,



Sunday, March 2, 2014

Deadbolted In

I’m sitting here in the dark trying to find the words to express what I’m feeling this morning...

...ummm...

I feel as if the door to my world was slammed shut and locked tight, leaving me alone in a 2 x 4 space. 

Does that make sense? 

It’s as if the great big expanse that I’ve known as my “world” has shrunk down to a tiny 2 by 4 room.

A room where it’s hard to move freely.

And a struggle to breathe.

...sigh...

“When God shuts a door, He opens a window" comes to mind. Well-meaning friends have said that to me.    

But I don't find that comforting, nor is it Scriptural.  

And I’m assuming those who say it, truly have never known what it is like to have the door of your life slammed shut in your face leaving you paralyzed in the dark.

First of all, God did not shut this door to my world.  The enemy, who has come to steal, kill, and destroy me (John 10:10) did.  

Second of all, if I’ve lived all these years with an open door, why would I want to settle just for a small open window in the future? 

What my God did do was have my back.  The Holy Spirit moved a hotel clerk to pick up the phone and utter the words he did to me.  In the hotel world, he could have/should have been fired for what he did.  In response to my story, people have said that I should have reported him. But, why would I do that when I truly believe what he did was directed by The LORD?  

It was a God thing.

The LORD, Whose Eyes were ever upon me to show Himself strong on my behalf (II Chron. 16:9a) was at work protecting my back (Is. 58:8b).  He wasn’t going to allow deceitfulness to go on behind my back any longer.  And for that I bow before The LORD my God with a very grateful heart.

And what Satan has meant for evil in my life, God is in the process of turning for good (Gen. 50:20). Whether I can see it or feel it at this moment doesn’t matter.  It’s Truth.

And because of that, I will not settle for an “open window” in the future.  I will have full restoration. One day the "door" to my world will swing wide open once again. 

In the meantime, I trust The LORD with all my heart.

I am not leaning on my own understanding.

In all my ways, I’m acknowledging Him.

Therefore, He is directing my path (Prov. 3:5-6).  

I’ve that I’m certain. 

In the meantime, I’m sitting still in my little 2 x 4 world where it’s hard to breathe or move, but where I’m cozied into The Hand of my LORD.

Safe.

   Protected.

      Recovering.

         Where all is well (II Kings 4:8-37). 

...

...Can you relate?...I sure hope not!


Because of Him and Unto Him,