Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Unbroken

The ball is being readied, as is Times Square - for the thousands and thousands of people who are pilgrimaging into New York City to witness the dropping of the New Year's ball.

2015 is upon us and here I sit, contemplating my future.  But, I absolutely don't have one iota of a clue as to what the future holds for me.

I await on baited breath for some judge, who does not know me from a hole in the wall, to make life-changing decisions about my finances in the now and for the future.  My stomach gets agita just thinking about it. His decision will alter the way I live and probably where I will be able to live.

I feel like I've had enough "altering" for a lifetime. But, no...more is to come. UGH.

Alece and I went to the movies on Christmas day for the long-awaited Unbroken. We stood in line for it, and passed by others in line for the next showing as we came out.  It was worth the wait.

However, it was very difficult on the soul to watch the brutality of life circumstances and the darkness of man's souls without God.  What a human being can endure blows my thought processes out of whack.  And just when Louie thought his life was altered enough, along came another brutal circumstance and physical brutality beyond comprehension. A modern day Joseph for sure.

I came away feeling a bit ashamed for allowing myself to feel as if my life has been "brutal" this past year.  Nope. I can no longer use the word "brutal".

Do I feel prepared for what is around the corner for me?  Nope. 

Louie didn't either, I'm sure.  But, God poured out His Grace to Louie to allow him to endure his brutal trial until the end was to come. Completely broken, yet unbroken...

I've been completely broken (so I think), and I'd like to think, "...yet unbroken".  But, more "circumstances" will be coming my way, of that I'm sure. My trial is not yet over. So, I guess the "unbroken" part is still yet to be determined.



All I can do is pray for my God's Grace to be sufficient for me as the brokenness of my soul arises in unbroken determination (as Louie Zamperini did) to forge out a new life for my single self.  Oh, God, my Father, grant me Your Sufficiency.  


Thank you, LORD, for Louie Zamperini. Thank You for Your Grace in his life and raising him up as an inspiration for so many. I will remember his last ounce of strength and determination and I know it will help carry me through.

(And thanks to Angela Jolie for directing such an outstanding portrayal of Louie's life.)

If I had my way, I'd see that your new year was filled with health, prosperity of soul, trouble-free circumstances, and all your needs being met.  But, that may not be the case, so what I do wish you all for 2015, is no matter what comes down the pike in your life, God's Grace will be sufficient to see you through, and that your heart would not turn bitter. Happy New Year!  And go see the movie or read the book.

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Monday, December 22, 2014

Swan Song of The King

I learned a new term this morning thanks to Reader's Digest's column Word Power.

"Swan song".

"Swan song" means: any final performance or appearance. 

For example: "Derek Jeter made his swan song for the New York Yankees in his 20th season this past year."

From the moment of Jesus' conception in Mary's womb, His life was preparation for His swan song.

As is ours.

We go through daily life with no swan song in mind.  But, maybe we should. 

Jesus did.  His one aim in life was His swan song - His death, resurrection, and return to Heaven.  
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  ~ Heb.12:1-2
Thanks to: www.bazz-photography.deviantart.com


My beloved Jane Haile always said that she wanted to be so close to Heaven in prayer that she would just keep going. And that was her exact swan song. We were praying with her and just annointed her for an upcoming mission trip.  And Jane "just kept on going".

Jesus' whole life was preparation for His swan song.

So is ours.  For we, too, are Heavenbound.

                Food for Thought:
What do we want our swan song to be? 





Because of Him and Unto Him,
  



Saturday, December 20, 2014

The Holy Blogger

Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: 
                           it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.                                    ~ William Wordsworth

I would say the same about blogging.  My blogging definitely takes its origin from a deep place within.  My words are collected in times of quiet and peace.  

Thanks to: Michaeltasner.com
My fingers type as the spontaneous overflow of passionate emotions direct them.

I am a writer; sometimes, a poet.

Blogging is an outlet for my creativity and my passion, God's Holy Word.

We are created in the Triune God's image. Therefore, our emotions come from Him, because He is an emotional God.

God, The Father, was regretful: I Samuel 15:11

God, The Father, was angry: Numbers 22:22

God, The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit is Love: I John 4:8

The Holy Spirit can be grieved: Ephesians 4:30

Jesus wept from deep pain: John 11:35-36

Jesus got angry: John 2:13-16

Jesus was compassionate: Mark 1:41

And you know what I just realized?

God is a writer as well!  His Words came from deep places within Him.  He told His Story (History). He "blogged" it so to speak into the world-wide sphere of humankind. 

Words so alive and active that They can change a human heart.  So alive and powerful They can change family lines of dysfunction, depression, diseases, addictions, and poverty.  

For this Jesus came into this world as a human being. The Word, Jesus The Christ, through time and the expanse of humanness - "blogged" His Words; etched them on the tablet of our hearts, and uses Them to love on us, correct us, show us His Character, and lead and guide our lives in right living. 


Have a most blessed Christmastime. And may remembering why Jesus became human be the forefront of your Christmas celebration.

Because of Him and Unto Him,




Thursday, December 11, 2014

Keeping Christ

We've all seen the bumper stickers:

Keep Christ in Christmas
....

What does that really mean to me?

....

A celebration of Jesus Christ's is in my heart, soul, mind, and breath everyday day of the year.  

Even moment to moment throughout my day.

And I cannot celebrate Him without being conscience of His human birth.

So, how about a new bumper sticker?:

Keep Christ - All Year Long
Keep Christ - All Day Long

Because of Him and Unto Him,



Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Mind Glitch of the Holy Man

Peter. 

Man of Faith.  

Holy man of God. 

So walking in the Power of The Holy Spirit, that his shadow healed people.

Was it always so?

Matthew gives us a picture of Peter before his tremendous anointing.  A picture of Peter pointing his finger at Jesus.  
From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. 
The finger of "rebuke" wasn't really a  rebuke
Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” 
But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”  ~ Matthew 16:21-23
Much gets preached about this portion of Scripture.  You could go on for days from what you can glean from this scenario and Jesus' Words. 

I've heard over the years that people think Peter was either very arrogant or faithless to have "rebuked" Jesus.  But, I now know different.  

From experience.

I've had fresh understanding of these verses since my own trial began a year ago.

Peter didn't "rebuke" Jesus Christ out of arrogance or faithlessness. It wasn't a "rebuke" like we think "rebuke".  

He just could not wrap his head around the Truth.  Jesus was telling him that he was going to be killed and be raised back up.  Peter's mind probably glitched at the word "killed".  Huh?  He probably didn't even hear the rest of what Jesus said.

Jesus was the King of kings.  He had a Kingdom that was going to be established in Israel.  This was Peter's earthly understanding.  His mind must have raged, Killed? Noooooo!, 

Peter's mind could not accept those words. It didn't want to accept them. This couldn't be Truth!  

It's a physical thing. 

I know. I've lived it. 

In one brief instance, a blanket comes over your mind.  It cannot think.  It cannot comprehend.  It cannot connect the words. "Huh?", is about all your mind can muster.  

One year later, I can now finally accept what my counselor has been telling me from day one.  But, it took this long for the body/mind connection be made.  It took this long for my being to de-traumatize enough from shock that it could accept Truth.

The body/mind connection protects you from shocking news.  Every system in your body goes into high gear to protect you all your organs and systems from the shock-wave that shot through your body from the words you heard.

Jesus' Words were shocking to Peter.

I even think (personal opinion) that Peter's denial of Jesus a bit later, wasn't so much as cowardliness as it was just because he couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Jesus was just carted away by Roman soldiers. He was in shock -  all over again - and probably subconsciously his body/mind reacted: "If I deny this is all happening, maybe it really won't be happening."  "Maybe I'll wake up and this will have been a bad dream."  

Classic case of PTSD.

Ever been there?  I hope not.  But, if you have, I hope you can better relate to Peter now; that you can understand how he could say such words and/or deny his Lord. 

After Peter's inner healing on the beach (where Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him, to make up for the three times he had denied Him) and after his body started to de-stress from the shocks, Peter was steadfast in waiting in the upper room for The Holy Spirit.

Oh, and how God, then, was able to use him.  

Peter's mind had been on earthly things, not Heavenly. (Col. 3:2)  He wasn't thinking spiritually, he was thinking logically.  He was leaning on his own understanding (Prov. 3:5).

Just like you and I do.

Because of Him and Unto Him, 






Monday, December 8, 2014

Able (to)


Adjective (usually followed by "to")

1. Having the necessary means, skill, know-how, or authority to do something

2. Having strong or unusual powers of mind or intellectual qualifications

3. Having competent strength or fortitude

4. Having competent moral power or qualifications

5. Having sufficient knowledge or skill


The LORD God Almighty says of me, 
says of you, 

"You are able for The Spirit of The Holy God is in you."  
(Daniel 4:18b)

Because of the Spirit of God making me able,  I stepped out and did what I never thought I could or would ever want to do.

I ate at a restaurant. ALONE. Hallelujah!

What is something you thought you never could or would do but The Spirit of God gave you the courage or power to do?  Please share.  Let's give Him glory!

Because of Him and Unto Him,

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

A New Word In My Vocabulary



After walking hand-in-hand (literally) with my husband for 42 years of my life, the word


S - I - N - G - L - E

has had a very scary connotation to it. 

Single means ALONE....ahhhh!

...

OK, Diane, let's put this in perspective:

My other half is a workaholic who never took vacations or sick days; who worked 'till 10:30 PM, 6 days a week for all of my children's upbringing years.  Thereafter, 8:30 PM, 6 days a week. Until the last year, when he was forced by partners or paramour (not sure which - probably both) to take Saturday's off. Same schedule, but now 5 days a week.  All my years of asking/imploring for a Saturday here and there fell on deaf ears. 

So...

I raised our children. ALONE.

Took care of the homefront. ALONE.

Took care of every household emergency. ALONE.

Took care of all the finances.  ALONE.

Stood in the gap for the family.  ALONE.

Went through major family and health crises'. ALONE.

Ate 40 years worth of dinners. ALONE. 

Married.  Yet, ALONE.


Married, yet single in regard to doing things ALONE.


I did everything ALONE except take vacations. 

So, Diane...what is the problem?

You can do this!

Remember your singleness of 40 years.  Don't believe the lies that you can't do this.  You have been doing it - for all of your adult life.

...

So, as this year draws to a close, my new OneWord365 for 2015 is going to be:



I'm going to embrace my singleness. ALONE.

I'm going to come out of the foxhole. ALONE.

Travel has always been a desire of mine.  And I'm going to dare to travel. ALONE.  (I'm already planning a trip in the spring to Texas to meet precious, Martha, my first blogging friend. And I might just plan other trips to the others in my Circle, if I'm welcomed.)  

And I just might venture out to eat in a restuarant, ALONE, which has been one of the most scariest things to me.  Although, I don't know why.  I've been eating ALONE for 40 years.

And, Diane, single is NOT a status.  It's just a word.  An adjective. A word that describes a person who is strong enough to enjoy life ALONE.

And I have my Beloved LORD by my side.  Who could ask for more?  He will be my dinner Companion, my travel Companion, my singleness Companion. Single, but NOT ALONE. 

He is The One Who will endue me with power so that I may enjoy life. ALONE. After all, He has given me 40 years of preparation for this season of my life. And for that I'm grateful.  

I think I've already started to embrace it!  2015 here I come.

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Nope. It's NOT Time That Heals.

"Anniversary". One year ago. Two days before Thanksgiving.

Forever etched on the tablet of my heart. 

The first three months...shock. 

The next six months...horror. Coming to grips with truths that my soul just couldn't accept as reality. Fear of future. Anger/forgiveness. Anger/forgiveness. Anger/forgiveness.

These last 3 months...growth. Faith for the future. Joy. Peace. The beginning of the process of restoring my self-esteem. Self-discovery - who I am separate from my husband.

I've started celebrating who I am, who God created me to be. In all my quirkiness. And enjoying the self I'm getting to know.  

Tapping into latent talents and exploring the world of art - through sewing - that has been down inside of me since my children were very young.

Choosing to step out of the lifestyle my husband had chosen for us and exploring a new one.  One that is truly me.

Gone are the wonderful restaurants and eating experiences.  Gone are the beautiful vineyards we came to love; the special, relaxing Sundays we always had; and the wonderful vineyard friendships. 

But, exploring more of my desires - serving.  New places to serve and bless an other's life. Hopefully, new friendships will emerge. Hopefully, in my "doing", it will be just as relaxing.  I think it will be because that is who I was created to be. To be about others. Not myself. (I cannot tell you how many times at our special Mattebella Vineyard, I just wanted to help/serve them.)

I also discovered what was, still is: Love. Agape Love still floods my heart.  Neither the enemy of my soul nor my husband was able to steal that. And for that I hold my head up high.

And so, tomorrow - the day after the one year - I embark - fully - into a new life, continuing the exploration and celebration of self, hopefully creating art through sewing, and finding new ways to serve others.

I almost feel guilty that I've come so far in such a short amount of time, but I know it's because of you.  It's not time that heals all wounds.  It's community. It's community caring.

To everyone of you who have journeyed alongside of me - those who pray, those who have encouraging words for me, who have wise counsel for me, who have cried with me, and even those who expressed your outrage and anger with me - I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

It is your prayers, your words of encouragement, your counsel, your tears, and your truthful sharing of your outraged heart, that has helped me cope, begin the healing process, and has given me the strength and courage to step into this new lifestyle that was thrust upon me.

(And to face court and all the challenges that brings.)

And due to 40 years of marriage, I was molded into a life that centered around my husband and our children. You were an instrument of God to help break that mold and set me free to explore who I am.  


So, today, the one-year anniversary of the death of my 40-year life and a resurrection of a new one, I celebrate YOU! I am so blessed to have you in my life. You truly have been a community who cares. I continue to bless God for you and I hold you close to my heart as I come before my Father's Throne. And may I be there for you, as you have for me, should the need ever arise.

I've come a long way, baby!  WAHOO!  

Because of Him and Unto Him,












Friday, November 14, 2014

On Golden Pond


On Golden Pond




Irritable. Bitter. Walled-up Heart.

Father. Daughter. Boat.

Intense. Heart-wrenching. Tears.

Somewhat of Forgiveness. Somewhat of A Reconciliation.

Sad.


My On Golden Pond

Irritable. Bitter. Walled-up Heart.

Total Forgivness. Complete Reconciliation.

Abba, Father. Daughter. Life.

Gentleness. Love. Joy.

Buoyant. 


Because of Him and Unto Him,




Thursday, November 13, 2014

His Abode

I had a revelation from God's Word the other morning.  It came through very familiar passages I was meditating on.   I thought I'd share it with you.  

(But, I must warn you, if you continue to read, then you are responsible for what you just learned.)  Ut oh....

You can click out of this blog right now.  

Ut oh... (LOL)

Or you can forge through to read what The Spirit may be saying to you, as He did to me. 
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit Who is in you, Whom you have from God, and you are not your own?      ~ I Cor. 6:19

My body is His "house".

And He said to them, “It is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer...'  ~ Matt. 21:13                     

My House.  MY house. MY HOUSE.

Since my body is the "house" of The Holy Spirit, then His house (ME!) should be called a house of prayer.  I should be yielding to The Holy Spirit to intercede through me. After all...
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. ~ Romans 8:26
Whenever HE wants.  Whatever hour HE wants.  Wherever HE wants.  Afterall, He is the Master of His own home.  

OR SHOULD BE.

When my adult son visits, I have to remind him to put the toilet seat down, to not throw cigaret butts all around the property, etc.  Why?  Cause I'm the "master" of my home.  

My body - my being - is The Holy Spirit's home.  He should be the Master of His own Home.

Therefore, He should be the Master of me in all areas of my life.  

OUCH. 

Including praying.  

OUCH.  

On my last post, I asked The LORD to reveal to me anything that displeases Him.  Well, He did. And praying wasn't the only thing He showed me about myself.

OUCH. OUCH.

Repent I did.


Oh, God, pour out Your Grace to me to empower me to make these changes in my life.  In Your Home.  Help me to clean up Your House.  Your Temple. And to anyone who may read this post who has been convicted of something.

Thank You for Your Word, that brings correction to those who have ears to hear and a heart that lies prostrate before You.




Because of Him and Unto Him,















Monday, November 10, 2014

The Father's Delight

Bronze statue, entitled Here I Am, by Dean Kermit Allison
                      
Here I am, LORD...

I stand before You, my God…naked - exposed.
Examine me, oh God, in Light of Your Holy Word              
And show me the error of my ways.

What displeases You, my LORD? 
Magnify it to me that I might repent.
For truly, I desire to be Your delight.


Because of Him and Unto Him,


Monday, November 3, 2014

The Togetherness of A Lone Life




                                                             Stones

                                                             Sand

                                                            Sea foam

                                                            Seaweed

Separately: Nothing too special.

But, together: A beautiful beach scene to behold.

It’s only in togetherness that we create a life worthy to behold.  Truly, no man is an island unto himself.  

That is why God created marriage. 

And that is why the devil so opposes Godly marriages.

No longer in the togetherness of marriage, how will I live my life so that I’m not a lone island unto myself?  Where will my “togetherness” come from?

...

I don’t want to be just a stone or piece of seaweed.  I want to be a beautiful beach scene worthy of beholding.

...sigh...

...

"In community. That's where."

...

In the like-mindedness.

In the like-precious faith.

In the servanthood.

Community.  

You all are a part and parcel of my community. The blogging world really is a community.

YES!  My life will continue to be a beautiful scene worthy of beholding because of community.  To each of you, thank you for adding beauty to my life's landscape!

And thank You, my Precious LORD, for answering me. Thank You!

Because of Him and Unto Him,







Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Covering of Love


The Blood-soaked Cover falls upon my soul
Forgiven
A get-out-of-jail free card upon my life

The Blood-soaked Cover falls upon my soul
Therefore, red is the color of Love
It permeates my being

The Blood-soaked Cover falls upon my soul
Covering a multitude of my sins
Grateful

The Blood-soaked Cover falls upon my soul
Because I am forgiven
Forgive I do

The Blood-soaked Cover falls upon my soul
Soaked in Agape Love
Agape Love I do live

And that Agape Love
Affords me the Grace to cover other’s sins
Because The Blood-soaked Cover has fallen upon my soul

And above all things have fervent love for one another, 
for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
~ I Peter 4:8

Because of Him and Unto Him,