Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Kicking Off the Cement Shoes

LORD, be gracious to us; we long for You.
Be our strength every morning,
our salvation in time of distress.
~ Isaiah 33:2


Our salvation (Deliverer) in time of distress. Hallelujah!

I've been in distress for the last few days now. Feeling - truly - as if my feet were in cement shoes. 


That's what the spirit of heaviness feels like. 


Oh, Jesus, be my salvation! Deliver me and replace this spirit of heaviness with Your garment of praise.  (Isaiah 61:3)


For those of you who have been on this blogging journey with me, you know that eight years ago we left our church. In so doing, I lost every relationship we had, along with my job, and my ministries all in one day.  It nearly destroyed me. Just as I began to heal and come out of that dark pit, Satan hit me with more loss. My son-in-law was unfaithful to my daughter. Again, I lost relationships, my job, and their ministry which was a part of my very being. It has been a long road back.


Back to trusting.

The mainstay in this healing process has come through my blogger community - you, who have embraced me, allowing me to get my feet wet again in community.  In relationships.


Which allowed me to take the next step of progress: getting involved in a church again.  Which, as you know, I've done.

Which brings me to the last few days of distress: The pastor is having the whole church to their home for a BBQ in two weeks. I finally feel safe in my "pew" at church. And now I must venture beyond the walls of the/my sanctuary to a social setting.  Aahhh!


Joe and I have always been part of the leadership teams in our churches, but in this new church I don't have any "identity" of any sort. So, I still feel as if I'm bobbing and weaving on an ocean with no land in sight. So, my confidence is shaky - pitching high then low as only a wave can toss you.


This truly is a battle as I take a stand to break this assignment off my life.

I HAVE DECIDED I AM GOING to the BBQ because I won't let the devil win. 


I just wish I could snuggle into the middle of my huddling, safe Circle...


...sigh...


I know I have to do this! And I know I can in the strength of The LORD. Since you guys can't be with me, I will reply on God's holy angels to encamp 'round about me and huddle me into their Circle.


Garment of Praise
Painting by Linda Harris-Iorio





Because of Him and Unto Him,






And I will praise my God and kick off these cement shoes! The spirit of heaviness, replaced by His garment of praise (Isaiah 62:3)






Because I am a tree of righteousness, the planting of The LORD for 
His Glory and Honor.
~ Isaiah 61:3










16 comments:

joy said...

It was a sad part of your story Diane. Losing almost everything,but God always restore us and whatever is still lucking, I am sure He wll provide along the way. And being in the barbeque gathering means that you are one of them. Enjoy the fellowship and take one day at a time. You have the right attitude and I believe everything will go fine. ANyway, sharing in blogworld is also serving God and giving inspiration to others. And that is what you are doing right now. So you are in God's business:)

Betty said...

Written from a heart that love to serve...thanks Diane for allowing us to see your weakness, the same one that lives in all of us.

Trusting again after being disappointed is like trusting with cement shoes on...great anolgoy. So glad you are kicking them off. I am beginning to believe I am more useable for His glory now because of all the disappointment which only showed me where my trust was. You can walk into that gathering at their home as purely a child of the King not Diane the mother of a missionary, or a leader in your church or with the tag of your past ministries, just a child of the King.

As Floyd said in one of his post, it's a fine line over which we step often into doing things in our own power to doing things in His power. We love comfort don't we...even in what we do for the Lord. He is the God who ask us to step out again and again and risk, risk our hearts again so He can get glory. Our disappointment bring us to the knowledge of who we are, frail and who He is again. We will be with you in prayer and waiting to hear all God does through you at this gathering. Enjoy this my wise friend, enjoy. Blessings

A New Song said...

With every beat of my heart I can identify with you! It IS also my story, as well. I think the hardest part is feeling isolated, dislocated and "new". It is tough to start all over. Much like any relationship, when years have already been invested, how do you get those back? No wonder God has led me to you - to pray over you continuously etc.

Sending my love,
Nancy

Floyd said...

I'm deeply saddened for you and your family. I'm praying for God's hand in all the lives.

Being down is a part of this fallen world and you are not alone sister. God is with you and we are with you, praying and hoping on your behalf.

Diane! With the heart and wisdom God has risen in you and what He's prepared you for, walk into the pastor's house with bold confidence! God will be walking in with you my sister! It doesn't get any better than that! Those people are your family along with us that you'll spend eternity with! Dance into the room! At least in spirit!

If God is for you who can stand against you?

Martha Herden said...

Diane-
"If GOD IS FOR YOU--WHO CAN STAND AGAINST YOU?"

The perfect words given to you by one of your blog followers!

Just be YOU-try to put the losses and sadness in a "box" for that ONE day.

God will show you where the PLATES are! Something says the FOOD and FELLOWSHIP will be wonderful!!

Saleslady371 said...

Out of hurts usually comes the most anointed ministries. I just prayed and Diane, I feel like the other comments - sensing a joy and lightheartedness as you go. It's okay to do it afraid. What they will see is Jesus; hide in Him. I am praying for a powerful transformation. Make sure you fill us in on details, okay?

Hugs,
Mary

Pam said...

I'm glad you are throwing off those cement shoes! Who needs that extra weight holding us down! I know how you feel... as a single, I am always having to push myself out there. But keep your eyes on Him and on going to also speak into others there who may also be feeling as you do... and need your smile and welcome hello just as you need theirs...

A Joyful Noise said...

Yes, it is difficult to blend with a new church group, where you must in a way, start over to build relationships. Kick off those shoes and put on your feet those shoes shod with the Gospel of Peace. The BBQ sounds like a nice way to get acquainted.

Betty said...

Had to let you know I finally figured out how to link to Hazel blog...goodness I am slow. Thanks for the instructions. Have not forgot the address you need, just need to find out if Amanda is at the same address.

Diane Ronzino said...

I am so deeply humbled by all the comments here from within my Circle. I appreciate you all and your kind, encouraging words. I'm going to print them all out. And on the morning of August 4th, I will read them over myself AGAIN, knowing I'm encircled by support and genuine care.

Thank you all! I am blessed!

Diane Ronzino said...

Betty, I'm so glad you got to link up to Tell Me A Story. Yeah! I look forward to reading your stories. And thanks for that address. I look forward to receiving it.

Crown of Beauty said...

Hi Diane,
I missed reading this post, and it is only now that I saw it. Since I've been reading your recent posts, and not your old ones, I don't know much about your past. Reading this helps me get to know you more and where you are coming from.

We all have been betrayed at one point or another in our lives, so have I. My husband and I have also reached rock bottom financially... and still I am living with the consequences of those bad decisions, not mine directly, but still I am affected in a huge way. So, dear Diane, I can definitely relate to what you are saying here. Feeling left out, like that bird you showed in one of your recent posts...

But amazing and true, God is the God who redeems and re-creates. I am praying for you that as you step out of your comfort zone, and entrusting God the healer to watch over your emotional wounds which are not yet completely healed, He will honor you, and not violate your inner needs for safe boundaries. He will teach you gently how to trust again. It is a long process... but God is very good at this. I am sure you know that.

I am praying for you as He prepares you for that church barbecue.

Love
Lidia

Crown of Beauty said...

PS

SO sorry I never got back to you about skyping. My son was out of town last weekend, and the other weekend, he and his wife were occupied in being part of the worship team for that weekend, and our church has multiple services. Worshiper, my son's name, will hopefully be available this weekend to set up my account for me. He said if I do not have a skype 5 on my laptop, it will not really be a problem. It will still work.

Also, I would prefer a one on one skype talk, since on your circle, I am relatively new and have not gotten around to meeting the others, except Lolita. In time I know I will.. but for now, I think I would love to have a one on one chat with you!

Much love
Lidia

LOLITA said...

Diane,

I am sorry I missed this. I was mostly off the blog circle for most of this past week. End of the month reports needed doing. There is also the books of Compassion International sponsored student center to do plus the other part-time bookkeeping and all those grand kids' projects to assist with.

Anyway here I am. Online in another office.

I am happy that you decided to go and I will wait for your report on this too.

Be on your way, sister. It will be a good thing to loose yourself in the midst of those church members. I would say there is always this kindred spirit among believers all over the world. A language so basic and automatic, it only comes from the Giver of Light and Life. I know you will be fine among them and soon you will be able to use what God has gifted you with in this new Church.

So happy here, I could dance.

Diane Ronzino said...

Lidia, I so appreciate your heart and encouraging words. Only one who knows The Healer can encourager others. I thank you for your encouragement. You are so right.

God spoke to me through His Word just this morning at church. Gen. 5:7 "If you do well, will you not be accepted?" He spoke to my heart: "You do well, you will be accepted." I was overcome with joy.

Thank you so much, Lidia, for your prayers and friendship.

In regard to Skype. It didn't seem to work out for the others. I would love to do a one on one with you. Please let me know when is good for you. Eventually, I would love for us to Skype with Lolita as well. I look forward to seeing your beautiful face!

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, my Lolita, for your encouraging words. I appreciate you and I'm so glad you were able to get on the Internet. Yeah!

Love to you, and I look forward to Skyping with you as well. After our one-on-ones, maybe the three of us could Skype. We have to make a plan.