Thursday, March 29, 2012

She's Not In Kansas Anymore, Toto

When each of my children left home, they left to pursue serving The LORD either through missions or youth ministry.  I think because I was so at peace knowing that they were in the perfect will of God, that I never experienced the "empty nest syndrome". Never. Not for one minute.

Until yesterday.

My daughter, Alece, is finally settling into American life, living in Nashville, Tennessee. In all her years since she left home, New York has always been her legal address. She has only had a NY driver's license since she first began driving.

Yesterday she texted me. She was at the Dept. of Motor Vehicles in Nashville.  She was becoming an "official" Tennessean by having her license changed.

When I enlarged the photo, I cried.

My daughter has traveled to places I can only dream of, and had made her home and life in exotic Africa, but always came "home" to New York when in the States.

Mail still comes here for her.

But, Alece is officially not a New Yorker anymore. She is officially a Tennessee resident, so she will put in a change of address, and her mail will eventually stop coming here.

I'm sad.

Not really understanding why. But, I am...


...Maybe...because I had that connection to her by receiving her mail and then forwarding it on...maybe because in the last three years I've lost so much of her life. It just slipped through my fingers. Gone. Never again to have that daily connection with her through her ministry. Now, once the mail stops coming, that last little bit of connection I had with her will be gone too.

What's a mother to do with only a text here and there?

My nest is now "officially" empty and I'm going to cry.

Because of Him and Unto Him,


Betty said...

Cry away my empty nest friend...your grief is felt by our heavenly Father to His core and all of us women who have felt those same empty feelings. It is deep only the Father can comfort you for He understands it. I think He grieved as His Son stepped out of heaven into this sinful earthly life to bear the cross for us. He has reached down to me more then once as we have left our children in the USA to return serving Him in a foreign country. I take you to His lap right now. Crying with you. Betty

Diane Ronzino said...

I can't sleep tonight...

Thank you for your compassionate words, Betty. I can tell you understand. I agree with you that our Father grieved as Jesus stepped out of Heaven.

Thank you for taking me to His place I'd rather be. And thank you, too, for your tears. They are precious to me.

Betty said...

A teacher hears applications for life, a preacher applications for the lost , a singer hears songs applications that match the other two.

After I commented on your blog went to take a shower and was still very heavy for you. God flooded me with the words to this song I had not sung for years. I started singing the chorus and had to send it to you. You will teach out of this trial Diane.


It’s hard to believe He still loves me
Knowing the wrong I have done
When all I can say is I’m sorry
When all I can feel is my sin

He understands when I can do is cry
He feels the hurt that no one can see down inside
And when the words get in the way
I know He still hears
He understands my tears

You may not believe that I’m broken
For all you can see if my smile
Oh but He hears the heart that’s unspoken
And He gives me strength through each trial

Oh and when the words get in the way
I know He still hears (hold)
For He understands
When no one else can
He understand my tears

Lolita said...

And I am hugging you tightly. I will try to understand and be silent for a while.

Filipinos have a culture of extended families and only a few are empty nesters. I don't even know if it is a blessing or a curse to some. But all I know is that it is good for one's sanity-not to become senile. One negative side to it is, producing dependent adults.

D, just cry it on. I know it will soon be an order you will accept. Benefits are there to take. You can go and visit Alece there too. Just let the tears flow..... soon the peace of acceptance would come.

If only I was there, I will be silent with you, just hugging you and crying it over with you.

Lolita said...

Thank you for singing for Diane, Betty.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, both, so much! I must be silent now too...

Diane Ronzino said...

I could feel your prayers. I'm smiling this morning, even on very little sleep. So, thank you both so very much!!!

Betty, I ditto Lolita, thank you for singing over me. I don't know that anyone has ever done that before...I'm blessed.

Lolita, you are a blessed nation with extended families. I do believe that is how God designed us to be. Joe grew up in a VERY close-knit Italian family. Both sets of grandparents lived with him growing up. Every Sunday, relatives were at his house for dinner.

America used to be a nation of extended families. Not anymore.

Christina Berry said...

This made me cry, Diane. Maybe because I know and love Alece, but probably because I know the "empty nest" feeling all too well. I'm praying for you and Alece today! :)

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you so much, Chrissy. I appreciate it.

Martha Herden said...

The tears are healing-trust me I know the load it takes when all the tears are held inside. "Empty Nest"-I don't think any Mother probably could have pushed her heart open to preview just how much Pain comes with the "Empty Nest" feeling.

Trust me when I say-I do Understand-more than I can even begin to describe. I never thought my heart could break apart but it has and now all I can do is pray each night that God keeps our son safe. I can't say anything else-I can't Do anything, except keep moving.

Thank you for sharing Diane.

love, martha

Diane Ronzino said...

I know you understand all too well. I wish you didn't. I love what you wrote: I can't do anything, except keep moving. Man, I experienced that in the last three years. But, God's grace is truly sufficient, even if it's just to put one foot in front of the other.

Thank you, Martha, for sharing! Love and hugs to you, our Texan friend.

Veronica Shticks said...

Aww, Diane! My eyes welled up and I hatched up an evil plan to keep my little ones locked up in their room forever. Wait, that wouldn't work... Waaaaaah! Hugging you!

Diane Ronzino said...

LOL, Veronica...we had our own plans...when Alece was little, Joe used to tell her that she was going to have to live in her closet until she was 30.

Well, that didn't work. She moved to Africa at 19 all by herself. I don't think the closet would have held her strong will.

Thanks for the hug! Hugs back.

Veronica Shticks said...

Diane, Alece's story is amazing and she's unbelievably talented, gorgeous and smart. You did so good! Too bad your and Joe's plan to keep her in her closet didn't work. Hehehehe. I'm her new fan now!

Diane Ronzino said...

aawww...your kind...glad you "like" her (get it, the FB thing)

Veronica Shticks said...