Sunday, January 8, 2012

Thank You!

This has been a most difficult seven-year period of my life. It's been a much-needed wintery season of rest and yet, the most challenging time of test after test.

There has been much pruning and walking through the Refiner's Fire; much loss, much grieving. AND much change.  Some changes I would have given my life not to have occurred in our lives.  Some changes I've welcomed. But, through it all, the dross covering my soul is now burning off. And I'm beginning to see glimpses of gold shining through, and buds of fruit emerging from my clipped branches.  I think I've finally entered the springtime of my soul.

For 21 years I was a vibrant minister of The Gospel, servant to my pastors, servant to my brothers and sisters in Christ. I cleaned toilets and counseled; answered phones and taught from God's Word. And always an intercessor.

It has taken seven years to recuperate physically, emotionally, and spiritually from the losses that have come one on top of the other. But, I've had 28 years of my Beloved's Love and Grace to sustained me through these trials. However, through this much needed sabbatical, I've lost my communion with fellow Believers. I just wasn't ready to reach out and touch.

One of the things the enemy of my soul has told me during this season is that I'm voiceless now. I started to believe it.  However, yesterday, I had an epiphany.  I haven't lost my voice, because I AM A VOICE.  And the one thing that has quickened my healing process is this avenue to reconnect to The Body of Christ, ever so gently - through blogging. It has been a stepping stone to once again step into the water's edge of vulnerability.  I've been sitting on a pier just dangling my toes into the cool waters of intangible friendships - a post here, a comment there. Just dangling. But, all the while my heart has been reopening like a springtime flower to friendships and the Body of Christ.

Church attendance over the last seven years has been spotty mainly because I wasn't ready to reconnect with God's people, nor ready to serve an other's ministry again.  Just recently I found a young church, whose Pastor is an excellent teacher of the Word, which I hunger for. I think I'm ready to stand up and jump off the pier into the, sometimes murky, waters of servanthood.

Thank you to my readers for giving place to my voice.  Thank you to the unmet friends I've made through this blog. Thank you for "listening" as I began to whisper. Thank you for not stomping on my already, trampled-upon heart.  You have been a part of my healing and for that I give thanks. 


I am a voice and the "laryngitis" is healing...

Because of Him and Unto Him,
                  Diane

16 comments:

Pam said...

I'm so glad to hear this, Diane! My last seven years have been one trauma after another too, and I think God is bringing us into that "heavenly" part of 7 now. May this new church bring waters of refreshing to you now as you step more deeply once again! This is a beautiful post, spoken from your heart...

Christina Berry said...

"I am a voice and the "laryngitis" is healing..."

I LOVE this!

Seven years, wow. For me, it's been about 15 months, and I'm fighting and clawing to keep hold of my faith and my voice. I don't know that I could do it for 7 years.

Diane, I am so thankful for you and your transparency. Thank you for sharing this. I really needed to read it.

Love to you, my friend!

Lolita said...

Oh, Diane. I am so glad you shared this one to us. It is through this post that I suddenly realised I too was or may still be in what you call "seven year condition" all the while.

Perhaps I will find time to reconcile with myself and be able to have a direct face to face encounter with my innermost being.... my soul. Although I did not keep away from my church duties because I am much needed in the area of my abilities.... which is financial or accounting, I was absent most of the time in other activities where I needed to mingle with women my age. I am in denial, that I can see now. There was something that happened after I had my mild stroke in 2009. So much also before and after that.

Well, I think I need to have this one-on-one first..... of course, it must be up the mountain with my Lord too.

Diane...... you are on the right track and I thank you for this opening..... it opens mine too and perhaps a few out there......

Spirit Wind said...

Hi Di. I can't express how filled with joy & hope for you right now. I am overflowing....

I know you have gone through SO much and you have been strong for many of us, but there are times when we get knocked down & all we can do is lay there & pray, sometimes reaching out for a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on!!!

Thank you, my sister my friend beyond what my words could ever describe for your prayers, ear, but most of all your friendship. May the the Lord, our God bless you exceeding & abundantly, more than you can ask or EVEN THINK this year.... *2012* I LOVE YOU~ Mel

Betty said...

Diane your post only makes me want to tap into the wisdom God is pouring into your soul. It is only through deep suffering comes the kind of honest post you have written. Now the enemy hates it that you are seeing sunshine agian in your soul and wants to stuff it out but once you come through a time such as you have he better watch out for you are not to be reckon with. Your foundation is stronger then ever because it's build on Jesus Christ and nothing else, all else has been wiped out through the trial. Praise God my sister, praise God...

Stacie said...

This is so vulnerable and tender, moving in a straight-forward kind of way. You are a living testament of our God.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Pam! I'm looking forward to that "heavenly" part definitely! Thank you for your kind words.

Diane Ronzino said...

I'm so glad, Chrissy, that it touched you. I pray the 7 year part doesn't cause fear in anyway. God only knows why I've been kept in His Reinfer's Fire for so long...

One of the lies the enemy tells us is that we are loosing faith or our voice. I can tell you, it's a lie. Jesus has prayed for you - your faith will not fail you and your voice is still there!

I will be praying for you, as I do Pam.

Diane Ronzino said...

Lolita, I am so blessed that you realized what you have. We have something in common, my friend - I too had a mini stroke in 2009.

Go to the mountain, dear Lolita...go to the mountain...

I am praying for you.

Diane Ronzino said...

Melanie, thank you for your prayers and words of Life! I appreciate you.

Diane Ronzino said...

Betty, you are so right about the enemy. On Monday - the day after I posted this - I went into anapylhactic shock from something I drank. I could feel the presence of darkness overcoming my body. BUT, GREATEER IS HE WHO IS IN ME. I used the authority of the Name of Jesus Christ and my body finally started to respond! HALLELUJAH! I had to recuperate yesterday, but feel much stronger today. HALLELUJAH!

You are such a wise-hearted woman, my friend.

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Stacie, for your kind words. I am truly blessed by them.

Anonymous said...

Diane-
An amazing message-and spoken straight from your heart! Sometimes I get this "mental image" of me struggling against the Lord-as if HE has that LOVING hand placed against my stubborn Head, just HOLDING me in place, waiting Patiently and knowing, I will STOP and thats when I truly Learn the boundless depth of HIS LOVE.

Its a hard lesson for all of us who have been active in our church-to hit a place in the road where we are forced to be STILL. This is painful and yet at these times, I believe we are each being drawn closer in unity with the Lord. You have an amazing VOICE and SPIRIT. Keep blogging, keep laughing, and keep smiling. Your beauty is there for all to admire! God's love and blessings to you always dear friend. Martha

Diane Ronzino said...

Oh, Martha, thank you for your encouraging words, your love and friendship. You are absolutely right, sometimes, we are forced to be still and know...

Another thing we have in common!

agenuineglimpse.com said...

Oh Diane,
I've just read this and am simultaneously humbled, touched, and inspired by your words. I am so sorry for the struggles that you have faced and the isolation that has resulted. I can completely relate and empathize. I am so excited to hear about God's healing touch in your life, and how He has been using your blog and blogging connections to bring that healing. I can't wait to hear about what else He is going to do in your life in the days to come!

Diane Ronzino said...

Thank you, Sheryl. It has been a long, sometimes very dark, road. But, God's love for me has kept me. I'm so very grateful to Him.