This has been a most difficult seven-year period of my life. It's been a much-needed wintery season of rest and yet, the most challenging time of test after test.
There has been much pruning and walking through the Refiner's Fire; much loss, much grieving. AND much change. Some changes I would have given my life not to have occurred in our lives. Some changes I've welcomed. But, through it all, the dross covering my soul is now burning off. And I'm beginning to see glimpses of gold shining through, and buds of fruit emerging from my clipped branches. I think I've finally entered the springtime of my soul.
For 21 years I was a vibrant minister of The Gospel, servant to my pastors, servant to my brothers and sisters in Christ. I cleaned toilets and counseled; answered phones and taught from God's Word. And always an intercessor.
It has taken seven years to recuperate physically, emotionally, and spiritually from the losses that have come one on top of the other. But, I've had 28 years of my Beloved's Love and Grace to sustained me through these trials. However, through this much needed sabbatical, I've lost my communion with fellow Believers. I just wasn't ready to reach out and touch.
One of the things the enemy of my soul has told me during this season is that I'm voiceless now. I started to believe it. However, yesterday, I had an epiphany. I haven't lost my voice, because I AM A VOICE. And the one thing that has quickened my healing process is this avenue to reconnect to The Body of Christ, ever so gently - through blogging. It has been a stepping stone to once again step into the water's edge of vulnerability. I've been sitting on a pier just dangling my toes into the cool waters of intangible friendships - a post here, a comment there. Just dangling. But, all the while my heart has been reopening like a springtime flower to friendships and the Body of Christ.
Church attendance over the last seven years has been spotty mainly because I wasn't ready to reconnect with God's people, nor ready to serve an other's ministry again. Just recently I found a young church, whose Pastor is an excellent teacher of the Word, which I hunger for. I think I'm ready to stand up and jump off the pier into the, sometimes murky, waters of servanthood.
Thank you to my readers for giving place to my voice. Thank you to the unmet friends I've made through this blog. Thank you for "listening" as I began to whisper. Thank you for not stomping on my already, trampled-upon heart. You have been a part of my healing and for that I give thanks.
I am a voice and the "laryngitis" is healing...
Because of Him and Unto Him,